This week I had a conversation that changed my life.

You know when you have one of those moments that brings you a sense of clarity you realized you did not have before? No matter how many times you sat in meditation or stepped on your yoga mat?

Maybe you don’t. Or, maybe you know exactly what I’m talking about.

It was with someone in the yoga world I hold a huge respect for and always will.

Here’s how the conversation went:

“Do you realize that what you do is some real women empowerment stuff?”

“Well, I guess,” I said squeezing my shoulders up to my ears and then dropping them down wondering where this was going. 

“So, why don’t you talk about that when you talk about your yoga program?”

“Ummmm…. I’m not sure.”

“When I look at what you do, I’m seriously crazy for it!

You are helping women at the age where they’re supposed to be kind of fading into the background or becoming complacent with their yoga practice that they can empower themselves by taking on a more advanced practice. That they still have it within them to build something new and unexpected no matter what age they may be.”

“Yes! That is what I do,” I said truly realizing this for the first time.

They replied, “Then why are you playing so small?

I don’t see you in any of your blog posts or social media. I see yoga. I see that you can teach a hell of a class. And, you have mad skills. But, where are you?”

That was just part of this conversation, but I’m still chewing on it. Is that really me? Do I do all that stuff? And, am I playing small?

Somewhere within me I knew they are right.

I had built something I love. It took so many years of dedication, multiple trainings, and hard work to get to this spot. And, yet part of me was playing small. 

Looking back, I know exactly when it happened.

I stepped away from teaching at the studios, I gave up teaching Bikram Yoga – even though it was easy and comfortable and I could do it blindfolded and still give you the correction you needed.

And, I published my truth in the blog post, “Why I’m No Longer Teaching Bikram Yoga,” way back in September of 2020 because I had always done that with you – tell the truth.

Last year when I switched my website provider, I left that blog post behind. And, yet I see people searching for it every single day.

Reading it again this week, I realize this was the last time I truly connected with you about my life.  

And, no matter how delicately and with as much integrity I worked through this time in my life, the reaction I received from some people in the community was…  a little rough.

I’m realizing now that it made me shrink a little bit. It made me scared to share and do what I love to do – which is to tell stories and connect with you.

So, I hid behind blogs on yoga tips and tricks and veered far away from anything having to do with my day to day life.

But, this week I’m shaking all of that old dust off. And, I’m ready to let you in again.

I hope you are ready for the ride. I have a ton to tell you.

Thanks for hanging in there with me all this time. I’m back.

Expect what you always expected from me since we first met: the truth about a lifelong yoga practice. And, for me to believe you can do everything you dream of, even when you’re telling me you can’t. 

Sending you love & hugs,

Tori ♡

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